5: Where's Home Really... for Babatunde Aleshe?

Jimi Famurewa  
Welcome to Where's Home Really? with me, Jimi Famurewa. A podcast that gives me the chance to speak to some brilliant guests and get under their skin to try to understand who they really are. This show is about culture, identity and heritage, as face for these guests to talk about not only who they are, but why they are. And we'll hear from them about some of the elements that have shaped the person they've become. Each episode, I'm going to ask my guests to tell me how they define the idea of home. I'll do this by asking them about four key elements. Those elements are a person or place, a phrase, and a plate. So for me, and I feel like I've really sort of very delayed in waiting this long to say it the person is definitely my mum. She is this diminutive, but titanic figure in all of our lives, and just the sound of her kind of cooking in the kitchen singing to herself fussing, having multiple phone conversations is that sense of kind of security and everything is going to be all right. And she's probably going to tell me off or something in about five seconds. But enough about me. Let's hear about today's guest.

Babatunde Aleshe  
I make sure my son knows that he is of both heritage. In my house, you will see a map of Africa, you will see a map of Jamaica, you will see history books, we've got the complete history of the of Yoruba, we have complete history of Jamaica. Well, I don't play those games, you will know who you are. Do you understand? Because you have to, and I make sure I educate him on the importance of understanding and appreciating that rich heritage that he has from both cultures.

Jimi Famurewa  
Babatunde is a comedian and a writer, having first shot to wider prominence alongside Mo Gilligan on Celebrity Gogglebox, he gained an army of new fans after appearing as one of the campmates on the 2022 series of I'm A Celebrity, Get Me Out Of Here. As an actor, you might know him from hit TV shows like Law and Order UK, New Tricks, Waking the Dead, EastEnders and Doctor Who. Welcome.

Babatunde Aleshe  
Thank you for having me, bro.

Jimi Famurewa  
I normally start off by almost throwing the show title straight back at the guest and just gauging their response to it really. So when we talk about where's home really? And that question, what does it make you feel? What does it make you think of?

Babatunde Aleshe  
It makes me think of my upbringing in my house in Tottenham,

Jimi Famurewa  
So just to jump in quickly that still feels like home rather than the home that you're in right now, the home that you've made for yourself? Do you still revert to the home you grew up in?

Babatunde Aleshe  
Sometimes? Yeah, I mean, the home I've I have now it's a totally different compared to like, what it was like, when I was with my mom. I mean, my son has a middle class life. You know?

Jimi Famurewa  
Yeah. And so are there feelings of like almost alienation, like from your own life that you've built that you've obviously worked hard for and we'll get into the incredibly successful period that you've had over the last six months, 12 months, two years, however you want to cap it, obviously what made you and what built you It's so different to what's making and building your son in some ways, but I guess in so many other more meaningful ways, you're passing various things on.

Babatunde Aleshe  
Yeah it's different but at the same time, my mum was always hard working. So I feel like I always I've got that from my mum watching her really go out there and always working hard to provide for our children. I get that from from my mum. So that's not changed. When I'm at home and I've been working I kind of feel like I'm in that space now like that headspace sorry that my mum was in back in the day. The only difference is just the language and the culture you know, I grew up my I'm first generation so my mum yeah, talking to me always in Yoruba and the food is different and everything. And also my son is very British.

Jimi Famurewa  
Yeah, yeah, I feel like that's probably something that we share both of my kids are very British in that way but and you know, their mum is English is white English so it could be a tough sell at times. But other times it feels like are they get this very rich, varied upbringing, but I think yeah, it's such a different circumstance isn't there and I definitely there's times where I kind of like bristle slightly at like their relationship to Nigerian culture. If I detect even the slight bit of apprehension I kind of morph into my elders in this really kind of weird way.

Babatunde Aleshe  
But it's because it's because you know, when you get older now, you look back and like, man it was so rich, the culture was so rich, like, when I taste my mum's cooking now. Oh my days, I'm like, Why did I ever complain about having rice every day? You know, and all these different like meals, why did I ever complain because I taste it now. And I'm just like, oh my gosh, I missed this so much.

Jimi Famurewa  
That is one of the more fascinating things about this idea of home and home and culture that you maybe, didn't appreciate at the time. And then you just find yourself like aching yearning for which person for you, you've mentioned a few people in your life already, you've mentioned your mum, but which person for you really encapsulates and stirs this sense of home and the person that you are?

Babatunde Aleshe  
Oh, my God with my wife. You know what, the reason why I chose her is because we have gotten to make a home for ourselves. Both of us come from a background where we never had a permanent house, in our respective families, we both moved around quite a bit. You know, I always stayed in the Borough of Haringey. So I lived Tottenham, Wood Green. And the same for my wife, she moved all over the place and stuff like that. So being able to come together, and build a home of our own is so special to both of us, I think people can tell when they come to our house, this, just the work we've put in the long years, it's been of us, you know, really developing the house bit by bit by bit. I never could have, you know, done this without her, you know, and this is forget fame, forget all of that. We did this before all of that even came into the picture. And that is just special.

Jimi Famurewa  
That's beautiful. And I think that notion of, of creating the home that you didn't necessarily have and maybe taking some of the bits from your own upbringing that you loved and that you cherish and you're starting to appreciate even more and kind of putting them into a new context is like a really, like emotionally powerful thing. And so the person that you've done that with and to share that with someone like with your wife must be amazing. Cause she's She's Jamaican heritage, right?

Babatunde Aleshe  
Yes she is. Yeah. Yes.

Jimi Famurewa  
I know from your stand up sets, you kind of have quite a bit of fun with that as a consideration. I did sort of wonder with that in mind, obviously, Jamaican and Nigerian cultures, two sort of very fiercely proud black diasporas and kind of with real embedded roots in the UK. How does the conversation go in terms of like, you know, is there a kind of a building something new? Or is there a kind of a dominance? Is there a tussle at like, around food and design choices and things like that? Or do you just kind of concede?

Babatunde Aleshe  
You know, it's funny that you say that both cultures are so similar, other than like, maybe language barrier, or food, but even then, it's not that much of a big deal, because it's like, yeah, well, your food is tasty. Well our food is tasty as well. Yeah. And we just get on with it. Music might be different. But Nigerians love reggae.

Jimi Famurewa  
Yeah, completely. Yeah. And I think this was one of the big epiphanies when I was doing my book I had it pointed out to me that they're essentially the same diaspora, like, you know, like, particularly if you look at kind of the slave trade and taking most people from West Africa to the Caribbean, like there's so much overlap. And so to have that manifest in your own life, and in your own family is like a beautiful thing. Are there things that you kind of are specific about having in your home, that kind of a really kind of cherished examples of the way you grew up your own culture, your own family?

Babatunde Aleshe  
Just a representation of both cultures. I make sure my son knows Africa. My son absolutely knows Africa. He knows Nigeria. He knows Jamaica and he knows that he is both heritage. So in my house, you will see a map of Africa you will see a map of Jamaica, you will see history books, we've got the complete history of Yoruba, we have complete history of Jamaica, well, I don't play those games, you will know who you are. Do you understand because you have to, and I make sure I educate him on the importance of understanding and appreciating that rich heritage that he has from both cultures. I mean, both are rich in like culture and vibrancy in music, artistry, just everything like even education. We when you come to like, obviously, both cultures, like Jamaicans and Nigerians take their education, so serious. My son is very aware. Out of who he is. He has a Nigerian football kit and he has a Jamaican football kit. Both coaches are thoroughly represented in our household.

Jimi Famurewa  
That's absolutely beautiful. Is that something that you learn kind of from your own upbringing? Is that something that you kind of lessons that you absorbed of pride taken in culture and the importance of knowing who you were characterise your your upbringing for me like you moved around a lot. You're in sort of Tottenham, Haringey way. But what was kind of day to day life like?

Babatunde Aleshe  
Day to day was Nigeria. Outside of the house, outside the house that was Tottenham, right? Inside of the house was Lagos, Nigeria.

Jimi Famurewa  
As soon as you cross the threshold.

Babatunde Aleshe  
I'm telling you, and like, you know, people might not understand but I went to what is called a white garment church. So they spoke nothing but Yoruba. I grew up very much heavily, like absorbed in the culture of Nigeria. So that's all I knew. I didn't understand anything else. And so I think that's what shaped the way I raised my son. But also, just my appreciation, listening to elders, when I was young, that was like, you know, heavy influence of like Rastafarians within Tottenham on my estate. And they instilled a sense of pride for Africa, into the children, you know, because they were very much heavily, you know, influenced by the culture back back home in the motherland. So, I always had a sense of pride of who I was, but hearing it from people who were searching for their true identity that made me appreciate who I was even more, and then listening to music. Like Fela Kuti hearing Fela Kuti talk about his love for his heritage and his traditions. That even made me feel even more proud about who I was. I always had that from young I always loved being called Babatunde. And obviously, that's my name, but I've always loved my name. I've always loved my culture. I've always loved my traditions, everything about Nigeria, I just absolutely love.

Jimi Famurewa  
I really want to hit on what your phrase is, I'd wonder if it's Nigerian. It doesn't have to be. What is the phrase, the collection of words, the term that that really sort of pulls you back into this idea of who you are, and home and what makes you belong?

Babatunde Aleshe  
Brethren, or bredrin, as we used to say, yeah, that was a big one. And it meant so much, it meant so much. And we don't say that no more it's like, we don't use the word bredrin no more. But back in the day, it meant so much for you to look at someone and so you're that's my bredrin rather than that now what now we've we've we softened it and we've gone back to brother, it was much more stronger back in the day, man.

Jimi Famurewa  
Yeah, and I guess, again, something that comes from Caribbean or specifically Jamaican culture, the you as a proudly or bear on your own journey, young, black Nigerian man that you kind of adopted and absorb that from from your friends in the environment. And it wasn't the possession of any one culture, it kind of belong to everyone and it meant so much. What was the kind of the British influence the Tottenham influence the London influence? Did you feel kind of caught between at any point? Were you kind of being pulled in different directions? Or was your mum's influence in your family's influence, and your cultures influence so strong? That you weren't going to be pulled into anything else?

Babatunde Aleshe  
Well that whole music thing, you know, the garage, and then the grime that shaped our culture so much. I think everybody in my class had an emcee name, you know, I'm saying like, everybody had a tag name, because that was the one thing that was so prominent in our culture, like, the music, the fashion, everything just stood out. I look at like some of the pioneers nowadays, like you know that whole so solid generation, a bricks, jackets. 110s everything that we got on the platform, is what shaped me.

Jimi Famurewa  
Flashing forward to you've started to work in comedy. What was it about comedy? Is there is there a specific moment was it a series of moments because I, I imagined that is just as important a part of who you are as all these other things.

Babatunde Aleshe  
I was always the class clown. I enjoyed making people laugh so much. I loved it. I loved being the funny guy. I just loved watching people laugh. And also, when I saw Eddie Murphy that was it. It's because that level of observational comedy. I always found myself just watching how people interact, how different races you know, interact. act and talk and ordered, like the subtleties of just being human. I picked up on that and was able to kind of like mimic that. And once I saw that, Oh man, I'm actually good at like, you know, playing other people. You know, my comedy brain would always switch on. So it was just one of those things where it was bound to happen me going into comedy because I was obsessed with making people laugh.

Jimi Famurewa  
Welcome back. This is Where's Home Really? My name is Jimi Famurewa and my guest is Babatunde Aleshe.

Babatunde Aleshe  
How you doing Jimi? Nice to be here.

Jimi Famurewa  
I want to just drill down into place. We've touched on various places. And we've talked kind of in a roundabout way about Nigeria is this kind of evocative, almost emotional space? There's Tottenham, there's where you live now. But what are you going to go for as your pick for place that really cements or solidifies this notion of home?

Babatunde Aleshe  
I'd have to go back to Tottenham. Yeah, I have to, I tried to think of other places. But honestly, Tottenham taught me so much about who I am, as a person gave me an identity gave me a real understanding of the world, that everything was there, there was good people there. There was absolute bad people there. I got introduced to early stage of life isn't sweet. And that was a great lesson for me because you go into life understanding that there are you know, some bad people out there. There's some brilliant people, but also opportunity, I understood opportunity. Just everything. I never walked into any new environment blindfolded, I was always aware very aware. And if I was almost like unaware, I'd catch on very quick. I put it down to the being raised in Tottenham.

Jimi Famurewa  
You touched on it earlier about you know, the the richness of, of those dishes and appreciating them more in early life and those triggers of home being almost more kind of powerful in adulthood. Let's stop straight off on your food then let's go for the plate. What is your dish? What are you going to go for? What is the thing that you that you long for that you yearn for? Or it could even be linked to your home now in your kind of beautiful union of cultures with your wife, what is the food you're gonna go for?

Babatunde Aleshe  
I like to, I'm gonna do a fusion here. It's the one of the greatest things ever. Jollof rice, I say jollof and jerk. Jollof rice and jerk chicken. It's a beautiful marriage. I feel like not only is a beautiful marriage in terms of cuisine, but I think that represents me and my wife. And that's something that I think we can both agree on. When it comes to what are we going to eat? If I say Jollof rice? She'll say yes, it's like she goes jerk chicken. All right, cool. And that's something that my son will even agree on and say I'll have a bit of that as well.

Jimi Famurewa  
Because you touched on the fact that your your son has a kind of Britishness and a middle classness that is alien to how you were brought up into what you what are your touchstones? Does that manifest in food as well, then?

Babatunde Aleshe  
Oh my gosh, yes, this boy oh my Lord. When it comes to him eating, so you're, you're dealing with a whole next person, because me and my wife, you know, we can eat our traditional foods, she can go back to like heart food and, you know, ackee and saltfish all that stuff. And the only thing he will have is the jollof rice. That's as far as he goes for now. I do believe as he grows older, and he begins to taste more things. And that obviously expands his palate. Because you know, children, all they want is chicken nuggets and fish finger. All that nonsense, right. But as they grow older, and they taste more and more and more, I do believe he will grow more in love with both cuisines.

Jimi Famurewa  
We've barely talked about the jungle. But I think as we're talking about delicious food, and I just think of you there having like four grains of rice and beans and kind of it's such a strange show in that so much of it is kind of shaped by hunger and people kind of losing their minds because they've not got food and celebrities competing in the most kind of like difficult and hazardous ways possible for the right to like have better food. It's been a little while since you came out. It's obviously completely changed things it looks like from the outset. How do you reflect on that? Is there any aspect of it that wasn't what you expected of kind of coming out?

Babatunde Aleshe  
The only aspect of it that I just wasn't expecting is just how difficult it is mentally, like food wasn't a problem, honestly, and I don't think food was a problem for the majority of us apart from Owen. But that was just because of the body the eye muscle mass that he had, for me and the rest of us. We didn't- food wasn't the struggle; mentally facing the trials was the struggle, because it was just like, you went into everything, not knowing what is going to happen, what's going to take place. And everything was so new. So you know, they're in your face, like in the moment like you were forced to always be in the moment and not think outside of that. But we did great, I would have to say we did our best. We had a lot of full stars, courtesy of Matt, I always start by saying, first of all, big up to Jill Scott, who was the winner. But in regards to Matt, I will say this, look, I'm a Christian. And I can disagree with everything someone has done. And equally say, I believe in second chances. And if I, as a Christian, don't practice forgiveness, then what's the point of me for being Christian? Because that is the very foundation of the whole faith. But equally is saying that I can equally say you've completely failed the people. You know, I think that's the understanding me and Matt have. And that's what's allowed me in him to have the relationship, we do have to this very day, which is, we are very much cordial, we're very cool with each other. We don't exchange any, like disrespectful words towards each other. But rest assured, I do not agree and have not agreed with anything that guy has done. And I just have to clarify that. Because I got a lot of people messaging me going, how are you friends with this guy? And it's just like, we are not friends. Let's put that out there.

Jimi Famurewa  
Yeah. I love that you mentioned your faith there. And you know, we've we've talked about it a little bit. But clearly that is part of the ingredients that make up who you are, and your sort of sense of home and your kind of North Star in that way. Another thing that I wanted to just quickly touch upon before we kind of wrap up actually being in Nigeria, is it right have you been back?

Babatunde Aleshe  
You're not going to be happy with me, Jimi. I've never been.

Jimi Famurewa  
No, this is great actually. Because it's it's very rare that I'm in the position of saying that I'm a better Nigerian to be frank. I've actually been like, what, twice in 20 years?

Babatunde Aleshe  
You know, we are going back this year.

Jimi Famurewa  
Oh, that's fantastic. That's amazing. And you're going to love it. But that in itself is really fascinating to me that your your experience of Nigeria has all happened through the prism of London life through diaspora and through connections with your family. And so this place that looms so large for you to have never been there. That must be such a strange thing. Was there a reason?

Babatunde Aleshe  
The reason why, you know, single parent, my mum didn't make a lot of money. And so any money she did make back then, was always put towards obviously, roof over our head and food within our mouths. Now when I got an older education and all of that, that's cool. Yeah, you know, couldn't still couldn't afford to go. And as I grew into an adult, very independent. Now, the demand for me to always be present and be available is still here. So it's like every single time when I want to go, it's just like, well, not this year, you've got work. But this year is the first time I can say, I actually have some time even though I'm in I'm on tour, I've got a three month break. And during that three month break, I plan to go back home, I honestly do think that once I get there, I do feel that that connection, that thing in me that may be missing is going to click straight because that's when I'm going to be able to look around every single like just everywhere I go. Everyone I look at is Nigerian, everyone I look at his black, every single person is who I am. And once I'm able to see and connect with my family over there like my immediate family, same blood, same everything granddad, I'm even going to be able to look at myself differently. And I want to be able to be like that connection is there man.

We talked a lot about Nigerian culture and British culture kind of interacting with each other. What are some of the positive impacts that you see that Nigerian culture, African culture West African culture at large, has had on the UK? Are there any things that springs to mind?

I would say education is a huge one. When you talk about some of the top students in Britain are Nigerian. I believe that one point the smartest girl in Britain was a Nigerian first generation born And so, education has always been a big thing in Nigeria. It's beautiful to see when it impacts another country, beautiful.

Jimi Famurewa  
Babatunde, this has been a total joy, thank you for sharing who you are. And what gives you this sense of home. Thank you, thank you.

I love speaking to people when they're just at that moment where probably after quite a long journey, they're just kind of breaking through into new worlds. But I loved how himself he is. The pride that he takes in where he's from the different parts of what make up his culture. The world he's been from, his relationships, being a father, he's got such a kind of lovely, genial outlook. And clearly just such a driven, funny focused, sharp guy. And it was really, really great. It was inspiring to hear how he talks about himself and where he's from and how he represents it. And yeah, it was an absolute joy to have him. Well, that's it for this episode of Where's Home Really? with me, Jimi Famurewa, an exploration of the different rich and colourful elements that help define us and give us a sense of where we belong, which isn't always one specific place. And why not follow Where's Home Really? on your favourite podcast platform. We'd love to hear your thoughts. So pop us a comment or leave a review. From Podimo and Listen, this has been Where's Home Really? hosted by me, Jimi Famurewa we're the producers are Tayo Popoola and Aidan Judd, the executive producers for Podimo are Jake Chudnow and Matt White, and for Listen it's Kellie Redmond.

Transcribed by https://otter.ai